by Roy H. Williams
Some people say a recession is coming.
Others say it’s already here.
Experts say the best way to start a recession is to predict one’s on the way. So hey, I’m not predicting a recession, okay? REMEMBER! If a recession sneaks up on us in 2008, do NOT blame it on me.
Did your elementary school have fire drills?
Step 1. Get in a straight line.
Step 2. Walk orderly down the hallway and out the door.
Step 3. Don’t stop until you get to the far edge of the playground.
In my elementary school, we also practiced what to do in case of nuclear attack:
Step 1. Crawl under your desk.
Step 2. Put your head between your knees.
Then in High School we learned Step 3 when we saw it on a poster. You remember Step 3, don’t you? "Kiss your ass goodbye."
A recession is like a fire, a regular run-of-the-mill, garden variety, five-and-dime fire. Nothing special. Nothing nucular.*
So here’s what to do if a recession happens: (And I’m definitely NOT saying one’s coming, remember? Let’s be clear about that.)